We are from XiaoQiang International Headhunters.
Our Client, Sexy Buaya Club(SBC) Pte Ltd is looking for suitably qualified candidates to fill the undermentioned positions. The location of work will be at the mythological paradise called USQtopia.
Successful candidates will be sent to attend a Certified Buaya course where you will understand that a buaya is just another Gender Neutral term that can mean “attracting the attention of the opposite sex.”. Please note that a Certified Buaya generally has positive connotations.
Base salary before commission and incentives starts from USD100,000 per annum.
The positions available and the key skills required are as follows :
1) Strategic Buaya : The successful candidate is expected to be able to pretend to play pool and drink alcohol while lying in wait for an opportunity to exercise buaya powers. Dancing skills, though useful, is not crucial. Ability to create a cuddly nickname would be useful
2) The Sexually Confused Buaya : The successful candidate has to be able to adopt a sexually confusing sexual profile to project a level of unattainablity. This will help keep the opposite sex curious so that they will find an opportunity to unlock his/her sexual cherry.
3) The Dance-Talker Buaya : The successful candidate is expected to have average dancing skills but complements or worsens it by making the dancefloor become a conversation venue. Critical to this position is the ability to NOT let the saliva and sweat fly all over the place while talking and dancing at the same time.
4) The Fresh Meat Buaya : Always alert to any fresh meat appearing in the scene, the successful candidate has to have keen interest in targeting fresh meat in the scene. Some charisma and a sense of subtlety would be crucial to be effective in this role.
5) The Cool Dancer Buaya: The successful candidate is expected to be the one with the moves, talent and able to attract the attention of both species with slick and cool moves. Genuinely enjoys the dance and gifted with great dancing skills, this position is opened to only a select few.
6) The Dirty Old Man Buaya : In line with the national policy of hiring older workers, this position is only open to male above the age of 45. An ability to leer and have a saliva dropping look would be crucial in this role.
7) The Anyhow-Humtum Buaya : The successful candidate is expected not to exercise any quality control and is expected to buaya anything of the opposite sex. To succeed, the candidate is to maintain a huge pool of prospects thru the use of the “law of large numbers”
The Trainer Buaya : The successful candidate(male preferred) is expected to go around offering to teach the ladies to dance as a method to buaya. Experience in actual teaching is not necessary, Actual dance skills are also unnecessary. A false belief in his dancing skills will be critical for this position.
9) The Lurker Buaya: The successful candidate should have the ability to lurk around waiting for any available target and make a move once the target is available. The candidate would be required to blend into the furniture if necessary and jump out of nowhere when needed.
10) The “Act like not buaya” Buaya : The successful candidate is expected to pretend and assert he is not a buaya when in fact he is the biggest one around. A false belief that others think he is not a buaya is critical for this position. Fresh Graduates are welcomed as this is an entry level position.
Anyone interested in applying or got someone to recommend?
